Our .208 Hitting Catcher's Selling Breakfast Burritos Now

How about this guy does his job before he becomes an entrepreneur? This is what I do not get about this Yankee team and the front office that manages it.  It’s all about greed, it’s all about marketing and none of it is about baseball.  Reggie Jackson did the Reggie bar, but Reggie Jackson was a household name by that time.  

Austin Wells is batting .208, he has a pornstache and nice smile and he’s been in the league 2 years.  Can we pump the breaks on this ridiculous venture and go and actually play baseball good? Do that Austin… do that.

I hate the way Austin Wells and Anthony Volpe are protected for doing essentially nothing. And the culprit is not only the front office, but Aaron Boone.  This latest bullshit makes no sense. A $12.28 breakfast burrito that you can buy at the ballpark, (think about that, $12.28) you can make it home… the ingredients are on the packaging.  What a joke.

Let’s be clear: Austin Wells isn’t here to catch strikes—he’s here to chase clout. While his batting average circles the drain at a robust barely-.200, the Yankees are apparently fine letting him play Yelp critic for breakfast burritos on Instagram. Yes, seriously. The guy has an entire account—@wells.ranked.burritos—with over 80,000 followers, dedicated to rating burritos in opposing clubhouses. Because, obviously, what this team needed was less focus on baseball.

And now, we’ve reached the natural conclusion of this farce: Wells has a branded burrito being sold to Yankees fans. For $12.28, you too can experience The Wells Favurrito. Former Yankee Jeff Nelson torched it: “Glad it wasn’t a flavurrito, cause it didn’t have a lot of it.” Oof. Max Goodman noted that it looked nothing like the promo photos and was “pretty small and pricey.” Chris Kirschner chimed in with the kind of brevity usually reserved for crime scene reports: “Quite small. $12.28.”

You’re being robbed, folks. Again. But this time it’s not just overpriced hot dogs or another year of “wait ‘til next year” baseball. This is the Yankees dressing up mediocrity in a tortilla and hoping you’ll swallow both it and the fact that Austin Wells has done nothing to earn this spotlight—except smile smugly and flail at fastballs.

Let’s cut through the crap: Austin Wells isn’t good. Not yet. Not close. He’s not seasoned, he’s not producing, and he’s not helping this team win. He’s a .208 hitter who was hyped like some top-of-the-order breakout. Aaron Boone wanted him leading off at one point. Boone must’ve been told that was a stupid idea. 

But instead of developing quietly or grinding to earn his place, Wells has been handed the keys to the marketing department. He’s more burrito brand than backstop. And that’s a slap in the face to fans who remember when Yankees wore pinstripes, not hashtags.

Meanwhile, Aaron Judge—the only grown-up in the room—sticks to his business. He has endorsements too, sure. But he understands that job one is to produce. He hits. He leads. He delivers. And then, maybe, he sells. Not the other way around. Wells? This stunt is embarrassing. It reeks of a franchise that’s lost the plot. And if you want to know just how out of touch the front office is, here’s the quote Pinstripes Nation got from a Yankees spokesperson:

“He’s got a personality, and fans love it. We thought, why not lean into it?”

Why not? Because HE CAN’T HIT. That’s why not. This isn’t a cooking show. This is the Yankees—or at least it used to be. By the way, that spokesperson did not want to get named, I wonder why.

Pinstripes Nation had it right when they said, “While his bat has shown flashes this season, it’s his side project that has earned him cult status.” Which is corporate speak for: “He’s bad at baseball, but TikTok likes him.”

This is what the Yankees are now—a glorified Times Square souvenir shop with a pitching staff. They sell vibes, gimmicks, and $12 tiny burritos while telling you it’s part of the experience. It’s not. It’s garbage. This team used to be a baseball institution. Now it’s a lifestyle brand propped up by mediocre talent and marketing interns.

So yeah, call me a crank. Call me the “get off my lawn” guy. But back in my world, you had to deliver before you got a signature sandwich or a sneaker deal. Now? You just need an Instagram account and a swing that occasionally doesn’t miss.

Wells. Volpe. Boone’s pet projects. Neither hit but the Well Burrito and Volpe Torpedo bat matter more apparently. None of it works for me. When it comes to the Yankees and these young players, it isn’t development—it’s delusion. 

The Yankees have become a circus, and Austin Wells is their sideshow act with a stupid burrito cart now. The Bronx deserves better. Yankee fans deserve better. Hell, even burritos deserve better.