People who lack social awareness often use these 8 subtle phrases without understanding how they impact others

From the Personal Branding Blog

If someone says, “It’s not that big of a deal,” they may not realize they’re dismissing your feelings.

If someone says, “You’re too sensitive,” they may not understand the impact of their words.

These are just a few examples of the subtle phrases that people with low social awareness often use, without understanding how they might be affecting others around them.

Now, the art of communication isn’t always a walk in the park. It demands a certain level of self-awareness and empathy to navigate successfully. And not everyone has mastered this yet.

These phrases can unintentionally hurt or belittle others, even when used with no malice intended.

The key? Authenticity, self-awareness and consistent growth in our interactions – because personal branding isn’t just about marketing, it’s about who you are every single day.

Let’s dive in and learn together.

1) “You’re overreacting”

We’ve all been there.

An emotion sweeps over us, catching us off guard. It could be frustration, disappointment, or even joy. And then, someone tells us we’re overreacting.

For people who lack social awareness, this phrase may seem harmless. After all, they might not understand the depth of what we’re feeling or why we’re feeling it so intensely.

But here’s the thing.

When you tell someone they’re overreacting, you’re essentially dismissing their emotions, making them feel invalidated. It can come across as unsupportive and uncaring.

Sure, emotions can be chaotic and sometimes overwhelming, but they’re also deeply personal. They represent our unique perspective on a situation and how it affects us.

When someone is told they’re overreacting, it can make them feel misunderstood and alone in their feelings.

The takeaway?

Be mindful of how your words might impact others. Empathy is not just about understanding emotions; it’s about respecting them too.

2) “It’s not that big of a deal”

I remember a situation a while back at work.

I was incredibly passionate about a project we were working on. I poured hours of my time into it, giving it my all. When the project got cancelled due to budget constraints, I was devastated.

One of my colleagues, in an attempt to console me, said, “It’s not that big of a deal.” I’m sure they meant well, thinking they were helping me put things into perspective.

But the impact of those words was quite the opposite.

Instead of feeling consoled, I felt dismissed. My passion and hard work for the project were reduced to ‘not a big deal’.

My feelings of disappointment were minimized and it felt as though my commitment was unappreciated.

People lacking social awareness might use this phrase without realizing its impact.

They think they’re offering comfort, but in reality, they may be belittling someone’s feelings or experiences.

What might seem minor to you could be significant to someone else.

Next time, instead of downplaying someone’s feelings, try acknowledging them and offering a listening ear. It might make all the difference.

3) “Don’t take it personally”

Imagine this. You’ve just received some criticism at work, and you’re feeling a bit down about it. Then someone drops the “don’t take it personally” line.

Sounds familiar?

The truth is, our brains are hardwired to take things personally. It’s a survival mechanism that dates back to our early ancestors.

When we perceive criticism or negative feedback, it can trigger a defensive response in our brain as it tries to protect us from harm.

When someone says “don’t take it personally”, they’re essentially asking us to go against our natural instincts.

It can feel dismissive and unhelpful, especially when we’re already feeling vulnerable.

Understanding this can help us be more mindful of the words we use, especially when interacting with others who might be going through a tough time.

Instead of telling them not to take things personally, consider offering constructive solutions or lending an empathetic ear.

4) “You’re too sensitive”

“You’re too sensitive” is a phrase that can easily sting, especially when you’re already feeling vulnerable.

People who lack social awareness might use this line in an attempt to rationalize their actions or words that caused hurt.

They may not realize that this phrase can feel like an attack on one’s personality, rather than a constructive observation.

In reality, sensitivity is not a flaw. It’s a trait that allows us to connect deeply with others, to empathize, and to experience the world in a profound way.

Labeling someone as ‘too sensitive’ can discourage them from expressing their feelings openly and may even lead them to suppress their emotions.

Instead of labeling and potentially hurting someone, it’s important to validate feelings and foster open communication.

It promotes understanding, strengthens relationships, and better aligns our actions with our intentions.

5) “I was just joking”

We’ve all heard this before: someone makes a hurtful comment, sees your reaction, and quickly follows up with “I was just joking.”

I’ve been on the receiving end of this more times than I can count. And let me tell you, it never gets any easier.

The problem with this phrase is that it attempts to shift the blame from the speaker to the listener.

It sends a message that the issue isn’t with what was said, but with how it was received. It invalidates the feelings of the person who was hurt and dismisses the impact of the words used.

I believe that humor should bring joy and laughter, not hurt and embarrassment. If a joke hurts someone, it’s important to acknowledge their feelings and apologize.

Intent doesn’t always equal impact. Just because something was meant as a joke doesn’t mean it won’t cause hurt. It’s essential to be mindful of this when interacting with others.

6) “That’s just how I am”

At first glance, “That’s just how I am” might seem like a statement of authenticity, a refusal to change oneself just to please others. And in some contexts, it could be.

But when used as a response to feedback or criticism, this phrase can be problematic.

It can come across as an excuse to avoid growth and evade responsibility for one’s actions or words.

In reality, we’re all works in progress. We have the capacity – and the responsibility – to learn, grow, and change for the better.

Using “That’s just how I am” as a shield against self-improvement can stunt our personal growth and strain our relationships with others.

Next time you’re tempted to use this phrase in response to feedback, consider instead acknowledging the input and reflecting on how you can learn from it.

7) “You always…” or “You never…”

These absolute phrases can be a minefield in communication.

When someone says “You always…” or “You never…”, it often feels like an attack. It’s as if all our actions are being reduced to a single negative trait or behavior.

The truth is, nobody ‘always’ or ‘never’ does anything. We are complex beings with a range of behaviors that can change depending on the situation.

These phrases can be damaging because they leave little room for change or growth. They create a narrative that’s hard to break away from.

Instead of using absolute terms, aim for more constructive criticism.

Use specific examples and focus on the action, not the person. This encourages change and growth, rather than fostering resentment and defensiveness.

8) “No offense, but…”

“No offense, but…” is a phrase that often precedes an offensive or hurtful comment.

People who lack social awareness might use it as a disclaimer, a way to soften the blow of what they’re about to say.

But here’s the kicker – it usually does the exact opposite.

This phrase signals that the speaker is aware their comment might be offensive, but they’ve chosen to say it anyway. It can feel dismissive and disrespectful to the listener.

The bottom line? If you have to preface something with “no offense, but…”, it’s probably best not to say it at all.

Understanding the impact of our words

If you’ve followed along, you’ll undoubtedly understand that the words we use hold immense power. They can heal or harm, build up or tear down, comfort or distress.

Social awareness isn’t about being perfect or never saying the wrong thing. It’s about recognizing the weight our words carry and striving to use them in a way that respects and values others.

Consider the phrases we’ve discussed. They might seem innocent, even helpful, but their impact can be far from it.

And that’s the essence of social awareness – understanding that our intentions don’t always align with our impact.

We all have room to grow in our communication. It begins with acknowledging our blind spots and being open to change.

Next time you’re about to utter one of these phrases, take a moment. Consider your words and their potential impact.

Choose empathy over dismissal, understanding over judgement.

In doing so, you’re not just practicing social awareness – you’re fostering a more compassionate and understanding world. And isn’t that something worth striving for?

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